When one's choices come back to kick from behind

Okay, for as long as I can remember I have given into doing what I can to help my family and in a sense my community even knowing doing so would enlarge my personal challenges. What can I say I am a sucker for the seemingly lamentful. Knowing this would be my last semester before my internship year I was beginning to be hopeful and optimistic - and relieved! Oh SO relieved! I must have looked too comfortable! Fastforward about a few months and you see me as I sit now: oh so worried that I may not be able to save my grades...I want to cry. I want to blame someone, but I know I cannot because I made the choices knowing full well that I would possibly not catch up with my classes. I am sad that I can't seem to find time to do assignments with a month old baby and two teenagers with terrible colds. I can at least say for certain that I do not have to worry about the store now that the manager is back along with the seasoned workers. Times like these I question what my "destiny" really is... I think for the most part it is my inner self crying for my grades because I tend to really need that satisfaction that I did a good job in what I accept to complete. It is just that when asked to see to the store while the manager brought her two boys for surgery I feel as though I sacrificed my grades in exchange. Sure the community had an open store from the 6th to the 19th, sure I am not going to complain that I got paid for it, sure there was no one else who was qualified...so why do I feel short-changed? Can someone in my situation really be supported enough to just take classes and do homework? If I say NO because I can give examples of calls to fix grampa's medication and sneaky remarks of someone else cleaning up his house instead of me - "while you were --??" and once or twice an uncle (kinda nutty one but...) mentioning about how long I have not been seen at church to sing in how long ---? Ohh the pressure...dismay...Where is that damn Calgon anyway???

Is there progress pushing the unmotivated?

This question hangs over teacher's all over, when students in the classroom persist on the "I Don't WANT to do that and you cannot make me" mantra. During one of my fieldwork assigned classes I had the opportunity to observe some of the kids I worked with about four years ago. Much to my dismay some had the same "I can't do this so I ain't tryin" attitude. Very disheartening and discouraging to see that time and years in the educational system did not diminish this attitude. Once home it nagged at me, but I brushed it off as maybe they had a bad day. Much to my disappointment all my other fieldwork experiences with this group has been the same. What happens to the students that do not get positive experiences in the school system? What can be done as educators? If there is no support from anyone else what can one do? What will I do once I become a teacher if I cannot influence a child to at least attempt to understand a lesson?

Baby slideshow

I have tried to upload a bunch of pictures but only these were successful: Enjoy baby's first bath. He enjoyed washing his hair, cried when on the towel washing his body, but stopped crying as soon as he sat in the basin. Such a cutie!!