A personal awakening

Sometimes in life one realizes issues in one's behavior that cause a great mental review of actions and, for me a "darn-it!!....okay I admit it. I need a change of priorities." I got to talk to a great, wise woman today in what started out as a would-be-very-brief apology for missing a memorial feed. Bottom line, I finally admitted to the fact that I feared hurting too much during the time we will eventually have to say our final goodbyes to my grandfather, so I tried to distance myself from him... I know. It is wrong, and in a big way unplanned, unintended, I just continued to use other things in my life as excuses to delay visiting, even when my conscience reminded me I didn't listen. When I finally went to see him I noticed he lost a lot of weight and family members said he sleeps most of the time. I cried a lot, but luckily he stayed asleep long enough for me to get ahold of my tears. One thing that was said to me today was "You're young its okay if you fall apart, you will recover. Your Ap'a is old and he needs his family with him during this time. Someone needs to be the one to get the family together during this time because it is a tough time. Its okay to get mad, sad, just as long as you be together with him you will not regret it. If you do fall apart afterwards, you have a big family that together will make it." I am so grateful for her advice and prayers. Thank you Bunny, you are a great role model and a wonderful mentor!