Saturday, May 3, 2008

How much is too much???

These semesters at home have been pretty rough and my grades are reflecting it. I am becoming so discouraged because it seems that getting good grades are important only to me, and little by little I get asked to do "one little favor" after another that I cannot focus or my baby gets sick and I can't focus, or one of my grandparents get sick and I can't focus. How much is too much that it would be better to just say "Okay, come here let me do what I can and I will try again later when no one needs help." I am not going to, I have come too far to walk away now and I know I will be a good teacher someday...

I detest getting low grades, I really beat myself up mentally because I know if I had that focus I would have done great. It has come to the point where I cannot concentrate on anything. I am tired. I am worn out. I am sick to my stomach about a pitiful grade that I seen go downhill very early in the semester and knew I did not have the energy to get it up to my standard. Truthfully I am not depressed, just mad at myself for a while and needed to vent. I am not used to being a hermit and these audioconference and correspondence classes have caged me into my home practically. It must be a combination of a bad grade and cabin fever. That and the knowledge that my brothers have seen the geese and I am the only one who plucks the damn birds and gets them on the table for my grandfather. I like the product, just hate plucking :)).

Okay - enough venting. I do feel a lot better getting it out there. [Muuusssaaaa] [auummmm]

Here's to melting snow (I hope).
enjoy your summer
OOHHH yea - Congratulations to my sister Olga F. Evan on her graduation today! She is a health aide here in Russian Mission

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