Worries keeping me up, along with reflections...

My sister-in-law called me this evening saying my grandfather was not feeling well and wanted us to come down. After a bit Nicholas and I went down despite him being tired. My Ap'a is 90 and 10 months, and according to the age he gives others he feels a lot older than that. (He told my mom he was 101 years old). His health has been on a roller coaster lately. My mind tells me that he won't be with us forever and we are so lucky to have him, and to have him healthy for as long as we have had him but my heart still cringes at the thought of losing him. We, grandkids and great-grandkids have been closer to him than his kids growing up. The adults try to tell each other comforting things like reflecting how blessed we are, the great-grandkids don't want to even mention that he has been old for a good twenty years... I can relate because the kid in me doesn't want to accept that either. When I really look at him lately I can't help noticing how greatly he has aged even within this past year. Tonight we also heard that his brother-in-law/first cousin was medivac'd into Bethel because his heart slowed down. He is our "Big Ap'a" a name we grew up associating with Alexander Isaac since childhood such that even my kids call him Big Apa. I know I am so fortunate to have known my grandparents for as long as I have and they have been able to watch my kids grow up...kinda grow up. Even seen my grandchild, I am just sad and worried that when it comes time to say "we will be good, don't worry about us." that I will mean it. I know we will be okay....they have taught us well by their examples. They love God above all else and love us with their whole hearts, always guiding us through and showing us how to live "like a true human being," caring for others with patience, love, understanding and kindness.